Can y’all be my diary? Cirrias was my diary. And she talked back which was the best part. Trying to rebuild yourself when you are the only one that can help you is terrible.
So I am finally submitting to my body and switching my mind into taking care of myself better. And in doing so I have to let go of my precious sugar. Even in smaller amounts I’m not getting where I want to be. And if I’m honest, I’m so sad about it.
My numbers are not detrimental. But they WILL BE if I don’t make some changes now. Here is where my problem lies.
I have made sugar my got-to feel good. When I do my lil Trader Joe’s/Whole Foods trips I stock up on MY favorites. Things that make me FEEL good. Happies.
But apparently I need better choices. And I’ve yet to find any. I want to turn this to a different choice than food. I finally am feeling like I want to dress up again.. but dress up like who I am now. Even if it’s not the typical 40 year black mama would be dressed like. It’s what I want to decorate this vehicle with that makes me HAPPY. Truly, letting go of what people think. I love this for me.
However, I still have to make this new HAPPY a non-obsession. I have learned many lessons here so I don’t think I will have this problem again. When I was trying to lose weight, I gave Victoria’s Secret waaaaay too much money for their leggings. This time I will spend money on lasting quality items I truly love!
I am getting back on my bathing self care like I was before. Intentionally bathing, scrubbing and cleansing my body. THOROUGHLY. Taking my sweet precious time. Because it is. Everything else can wait. Especially looking forward to scrubbing with the MudScrub...Loving the Cambrian Blue Mudscrub.
I have reached out to a company that has my MOTIVATION dress. It’s so beautiful to me. And I cannot believe they carry my size. Cause who I saw it on is an xxs but I still loved it. So I’m hoping they want to collab with me cause ain’t a speck of color on their website. It should be. If they agree, I will show it to yall. Oh and instead of buying it in the size I want to get to, I want it in the size I am now. So I can watch it hang off me then get it altered to fit the new me. I will use it as a HAPPY. I want to love my body now as it is. Not hate it for what I let it become.
The little boosts of serotonin that you do for yourself help you mentally get through the week.
A lot of my problem is I need to do a balance on myself every week. But I will skip the scheduled date because “I don’t feel bad” but in actuality I NEED that balance to prevent a meltdown from even starting a little bit. This is something I’ve been trying to make a habit forever. I’m not there yet, but I am working on it.
This is why I have yet to offer these services cause I don’t have ME right yet. But I will get there! Do what you can to help yourself on this mess we signed up for!
Jia’s locs are coming along very nicely. She had her second retie and now we can see a bit of length without stretching them with the Revair. She needed the Rhassoul cause they were a bit grimy. I loaded some to the website a few days ago so please grab them if you need them!
And you can find some of our products in your local select Whole Food Markets!
Anyway if you are on your A1c journey, please tell me your go to foods/snacks or people you follow that share their journey that inspire you!
Have a safe and happy week of healing!